


Dolphin Boy

by MaxandMatthew24



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bullying, Depression, F/M, Happy Ending, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transgender, non-binary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-12-30 16:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12112581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxandMatthew24/pseuds/MaxandMatthew24
Summary: Kanan had a perfect life until one event in his life caused his life to be turned upside down.Kanan's side of "Why Am I Here?" I've written here (that has an ask blog on tumblr, asktransgirlyohane)





	1. Entry 1

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like i haven't written enough about Kanan in the main story so, he get's his own multi chapter story! I don't think it will be long but you never know. This will switch from diary to third person from time to time. Focusing on third person more than diary. Feedback would be great. Hope you enjoy <3

Dear Mom, 

So… I’m doing a dear diary thing now… I didn’t want to write dear diary so I thought writing it for you would be better for me. I should probably tell you why I’m doing this in the first place. I got a therapist not too long ago and he told me to do write in a diary. So I’m doing it. I guess I’ll start with the very start of my life. 

I was born on February 10th. I had you, dad, and my older brother Takashi who was 5 years older than me. If i remember correctly, grandma died a year before so it’s just grandpa left. You and dad worked in the diving shop for 15 years by the time I was born. It was really slow then even now. 

Growing up I always played with Dia and Mari. We were the best of friends and don’t remember a time we were apart back then. When it was just the four of us, you and dad would always tell me and Takashi stories. I always thought of family first more than anything. Then I met Chika one day when you and dad visited a family friend. Then she introduced me to You. 

Life from then was amazing. But everything turned to shit when I got into high school. I still remember this day like it was yesterday. It happened this day 2 months ago. It was great day for a boat ride so we decided to ride around for a couple of hours. We were pretty far from the shore but not enough for it to take an hour to go back. Maybe 20-30 minutes away from shore. We were on our way home when it happened. A boat suddenly hit our boat. It didn’t help that the other boat was bigger than ours. Our boat was flipped over. Dad, Takashi, and I were about to make it out safely but you. Dad went back to save you but you were unconscious and bleeding really bad. An emergency helicopter took us all to the nearest hospital. I was trying to convince myself that you would be okay believing the doctors could save you. After an hour, a nurse came out and told us that you didn’t make it. My whole world fell apart. 

I fell into a depression and was put into therapy so gets us to now. I’m still very depressed, the doctor told me to take meds but I refuse to take them. Let’s see what happens from now on. 

Love,  
Kanan


	2. Things can get better right? Right?

Kanan walked to his next period class when he ran into a group of third years. “Oh look who it is! Pussy little dolphin girl!” The leader of the bullying group, Aki, announced. The group likes to target easily angry people. So, Kanan was often one of their prey. Kanan tried to get away but they blocked the whole hallway. “Let me through. I'm going to be late.” He wasn't going to let their words get to him.

“She's trying to be a good girl and go to class this time! Don't think I don't know about you being in the guidance office most of the school day recently. I could careless why you're in there though.” The third years formed into a circle Kanan. One of the ones in the back shoved him down making his books fall. Aki noticed a pale green book that fell and picked it up. “What do we have here?” 

“Give it back!” Kanan was held back by two third years. “‘Dolphin Boy’? Is this a little diary? Or perhaps a journal about a crush?” Kanan was able to break free from one. He tried reaching out for the book. “I wonder what deep dark secrets are in here.” Just before she opened it, Kanan sucker punched her in the nose, causing it to break on impact. Blood splattered on the floor as Aki fell over. Screams was the last thing Kanan heard as he ran away from the scene with his book. 

Kanan didn't want to look back, not like he needed to. He can hear two of them chasing after him. His mind was going a hundred miles an hour, too much was going through his head at once. He knew he is going to be in trouble, Aki is going to get revenge, as well as what his dad and brother would think of this. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't tell if he was out of breath from running or a sign of an approaching mental breakdown. Probably the ladder. His muscles tensed up, going into a numb state. The halls got blurry and deformed. Water rushes out of his eyes like a burst dam. Shaking like he was in Antarctica without a coat on. It only a matter of time before he collapses on the floor. The halls got longer the more he ran than... Nothing. 

 

White. 

 

Nothing else. 

 

Only white.

 

He could only see white upon opening his eyes.

 

Blinking a few times slowing got the color back in his vision. Looking around trying to figure out where he is. ‘Send Matsuura-san to the hospital! I just checked her heart rate and it's dangerously high!’ ‘It’s just a panic attack, she will be fine I'll moderate her and if she isn't getting better than I'll call a hospital. You should return to class now. Don't worry about it.’ ‘Alright I trust you but I'll come back after class to check on her!’ Kanan was barely able to hear their conversation. He looked around noticing he was in the infirmary bed. He sat up putting his hand on his head. ‘Why are you helping that monster?! She broke my nose!’ ‘Now that is not your place to say that. Matsuura-san is a very sweet young lady once you get to know her. Don't move so much.’ 

Figures she is there. Why would she be? Kanan broke her nose. A wave of guilt crushed him. He never wanted to hurt anyone especially since he is really strong. He just needed to get out of there fast. He is getting worst by the second. Not thinking of the coincidence, he got out of the bed quickly and made a run for it with his book. There was excruciating pain on his foot as he was running causing him to not run as fast as he wanted. He ran outside to a tree in the courtyard. He was so light headed to the point where he was losing his vision. Causing him to go blind for a minute. He needed help, now. 

“Matsuura Kanan, please report to the student council office immediately. I repeat, Matsuura Kanan to the student council office.” He was in trouble now. Wasn't like he could go over there. He was still shaking and freaking out. “Kanan-san! Kanan-san!” ‘Dia?’ He looked up to see Dia and Mari. They noticed him and ran towards him. Mari got Kanan to sit down and she went down on her knees. “Kanan what happened?” 

Kanan couldn't speak. 

He was only able to try but coughed when it seemed like he was about to say something. “Ok ok, it's ok calm down. Dia get the nurse while I try to calm Kanan down.” Mari gave Kanan comforting pats on the back. “I'm on it.” Dia went as fast as she could. “Come here Kanan.” Mari laid down on the grass and patted the ground to indicate where she wanted his to lay down. He laid down and started crying instantly. Mari hugged him to comfort the very distressed Kanan. 

Kanan hates being this vulnerable. 

As if he didn't feel like shit already. But he didn't mind the feeling of being protected. Kanan was always a strong kid that no one needed to worry about. Now having mental issues, he now knows what it’s like to be the one that needs protecting. 

He didn't noticed that Mari had a bag with her. She went into it to get a water bottle. “Kanan, I'm going to need you to sit up, you need to drink water.” Mari calmly and softly said to Kanan. Mari sat up and went against the tree. Mari guided Kanan so he can sit on Mari’s lap. Mari opened the bottle for him. “Now don't drink too fast, take your time. I have more if you need.” Kanan was still shaky but manage to drink the water. Once he finished, Mari helped Kanan with his breathing. It didn't take long for Kanan to get to a slower breathing pace. 

He finally got the color back in him. 

“Kanan, can you talk now?” It took a second. “Mari.” He was slurring but she was able to make out what he is saying. “Alright, can you tell me what happened?” Kanan held on to Mari’s hand. “Punched Aki and saw blood and ran.” He is still very out of it but got the point across. 

Dia and the nurse came back. The nurse had a wheelchair with her, knowing that Kanan injured his foot. “Kanan-san, we are going to the nurse’s office. I know you don't like medical spaces but you need help.” Kanan couldn't fight back, he already hurt someone today and he doesn't want to do it again. Dia and Mari helped Kanan on the wheelchair. Kanan passed out. 

He woke up in the back of his dad’s car. The car was moving. Where to? He didn't know but he had an idea of where. “Dad?” 

“Kanan you're awake. How do you feel?” 

“Still pretty bad. Where are we going?” 

“Home. You are suspected for 3 days as well as five others.” Kanan stayed quiet for a little bit. What to ask his dad something but scared of the answer. He managed to get the courage to ask.

“Are you mad at me?” 

He sighed. “Kanan, I'm not mad but I am upset. I know that journal is special to you that's why I'm not mad. But I am upset that you used violence. I know your brother told you to fight if anyone is giving you a hard time. But I know there's a better solution than to fight.” 

“Hey dad, actually… Nevermind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is an entry


	3. Entry 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diary #2

Dear Mom, 

I was suspended from school. I know, you're shocked but I'm not the only one. Remember about the group of girls that pick on me? Yeah all of them were suspended too. It wouldn't have happened if the other victims haven't spoken up. Keep in mind that the school doesn't have a lot of students so, what happened to me went around quickly. The whole student body wanted to get the five of them to get in trouble. Since everyone (well mostly) knows how much of a sweet heart I am, they thought it was unfair for me to be in trouble so that's what happened. 

I really don't want to admit this but I have to, I freaked out when Aki took my book. My instincts told me to attack and I...punched her nose. There's was so much blood that I freaked out and ran away then passed out on the floor and sprained my foot. I really don't want to face my therapist after what happened. I'm scared that I might need medicine if my mental health worsens. I need to cut it short for today...This day has been way too much for me and I don't want to think about it anymore. 

From your dolphin,  
Kanan


End file.
